Oh my god! This is huge news! Dwight Howard may be switching teams! Whoopdie FUCKING DOO!!!!!! Alright, seriously? This may have been the biggest news since Bron Bron ripped Cleveland a new asshole. It's just, after about rumor number 20, it starts to get a bit stale... and by stale I mean make everyone watching ESPN want to shit a pineapple over hearing one more rumor about "SuperChode".
Alright, let's just look at it from his point of view. He does kind of have it rough in Orlando. I mean picture this for one second. Having to live in tropical Florida, having the city wrapped around your finger, being paid millions of dollars to play a game that you dominate. I don't understand how this guy makes it by everyday. Miserable, miserable life.
Alright, this is what money does to people. This is coming from someone who let's say... doesn't have millions of dollars and leave it at that. First, I would love to get paid to play basketball. I'm playing a fucking game and getting paid for it. That's like paying me to play drinking games (By the way, if this is a real option, I better have emails up the ass about it because I want in). Second, you are straight out of high school Dwight. You know what that means? Probably not dumb shit because you probably aren't the brightest since you don't have an education. Nothing against those with high school degrees, because you probably still did the work in school. I would bet my left nut that this guy was handed everything. These BILLIONAIRES are handing you cash to be really good at jumping and running around with a ball. You better listen to whatever the fuck your BOSS says. If he tells you to go out there as a ballerina, spank your ass and dance at half-time YOU DO IT!
In all honesty, this whole fiasco makes Lebron not look as bad. At least he kept his mouth shut and brought the house down all in a measly hour of "The Decision". Lebron is starting to look like not a bad guy.
Alright, nevermind fuck both of 'em...
