Fan outperforms Houston Astros

We've all seen the highlights, dumb drunk fans running onto the field of play for a moment of glory only to be tackled Ray Lewis style by a 300 pound security guard who happens to be in the right place at the right time. Like my last story, this is outdated and out of mind, and I think we all need a little reminder that there is hope out there for regular drunken guys to do some good. 

I mean the last exciting time for the Houston Astros was when Roger Rocket Clemens was pitching for them, granted he was most likely on enough steroids to kill a full grown male gorilla, but he was exciting to watch pitch none the less. Remember the "rocket arm" that Roger Clemens endorsed? I remember trying it at a friends house and thinking how absolutely useless it was, and I was 12. 

Where were the red flags then? He obviously didn't get his 97 MPH fastball from this piece of shit but rather sticking needles into his ass. What he should have done was put his face on a syringe and marketed "Rogers Secret Stuff" because that contraption wasn't even good for paper weights and in short was fucking worthless. 

But back to the fan who gave the Astros the spark they needed. Watch this video and tell me this guy didn't come to the ball park 3 or 4 games before and planned his exact route. I can't tell you if the Astro's won or not because quite frankly I don't give a flying fuck but what I can tell you is this man deserves a medal

The Real Space Jam

You know when you're in a movie with Bugs Bunny you're doing something right. Not only was Michael Jordan arguably the greatest to ever play basketball, he was in one of the most memorable movies, with a performance paralleled only by Dan Marino in Ace Venture.

A good friend showed me this article and I hate to give you links away from our blog but the fact is if you watched space jam a million times as a kid and wished you were Bugs Bunny so you could bang Lola then you will appreciate this as much as I did the first time I read it.

http://sports.yahoo.com/nba/blog/ball_dont_lie/post/The-box-scores-from-Space-Jam-for-a-nostalgia-?urn=nba-336075

Commitment at it's finest

You know that old saying a picture says a thousand words? Well this one screams those words in your face. I'm sure most of you have seen this by now but it's been pushed aside like so many red solo cups onto the floor after a night of heavy drinking into the empty space that is memory loss.

The simple fact is this man who is clearly 25 at least, did something that my five year old nephew hasn't done in two years, and that is shit himself. This isn't just a little "shart" either, it's full on diarrhea in front of, what looks like a very good size crowd. At this point, why stop? its down to his knee cap and clearly the poor SOB is determined to finish this race because it's on his bucket list.

Not only did this picture get whomever took it promoted, but also made sure that this guy will never again have sex due to the girl (who is presumably no more than a 6) having a fear in the back of her mind that he could paint the ceiling at any second. It's because of this picture that whenever I go running, which is close to never, and I feel one ounce of gas coming on I call it a day because that extra cardio is not worth my dignity.

The harsh truth of the matter is this man is white and most likely in dead last, or close to it, and the winner, most likely of kenyan decent, is already on his way home because he finished three hours ago. Thanks for being committed but I'll stick to playing X-box, being somewhat out of shape and having easy access to a bathroom when I feel diarrhea coming on.